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I’m looking at a reflection
That’s glaring back at me
A stare that’s dark and distant
Full of heightened animosity

I search for sign or reason
Something to ease my mind
Compassion and understanding
Nothing of which I find

A face that’s unfamiliar
A heart that seems so cold
How could an unknown stranger
Blatantly appear so bold

Innocent curiosity arises
As we continue to move in sync
Mimicking my slightest behaviors
Even an uncontrollable blink

I watch as tears fall from her eyes
Yet feelings of disgust remain
She starts to scream and chastise me
Unsure how she knows my name

She shouts out words of hatred
Belittled to the highest degree
Yet I can’t take my eyes off her
As her stare won’t set me free

But then she looks away from me
At a blade grasped in her hand
She tells me it is now her time
Says she’s ready to take a stand

I’m left there at a standstill
Unable to produce a sound
I wait for someone to intervene
But there’s no one else around

An eerie feeling comes over me
As I watch the blood rush out
Yet I strongly feel quite at ease
Void of the slightest sense of doubt

She looks at me in a different light
With a sympathetic smile
But why would she feel sorry for me
Is she going through denial?

She reaches out to touch my face
But I am unable to feel her there
She says she has a question for me
She wants to know why I care

I search deep within for a reason
Not a single one comes to mind
Numbed by my bewilderment
Wondering if there’s anything left to find

She tells me I’m the one to blame
That it’s me who deserves to die
She tells me what she thinks of me
While staring me straight in the eye

She says she knows my secrets
And she would tell the world if she could
That these tears she cries are mine to own
Even if I don’t think I should

From my eyes tears form and fall
As I watch her glancing back at me
Tragedy, sorrow and pain revealed
Something no one should have to see

She apologizes for her existence
Begging for forgiveness and peace
She forces a smile upon her face
Waiting for her one eternal release

I’m staring at her reflection
While she’s focusing in on me
She asks me one more question
Am I what you thought I’d be?

I look at her in disbelief
Asking her what it is she means
An answer she provides me with
‘Nothing is ever what it seems’

I close my eyes and say a prayer
Listening to her take her final breath
And emptiness overcomes my soul
As I understand the yearning for death

I turn my head to look away
Full of utter shame and misery
But I glance back for one more look at her
And I’m left in shock from what I see

I was looking at a reflection
That was begging to be free
And now I’m left with dire regret
Because that reflection was of me.


- by Laxgirl





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