August 8

Very often we go into relationships with the idea that we can make somebody better.  We see their flaws or shortcomings and take it upon ourselves to help them fix what is wrong.  Our task in our relationships is not to fix one another.  Our job is to love what we see and support one another in doing better.  Fixing is telling what is wrong, why and how to fix it.  Supporting is allowing us to make our own choices, being there if things go wrong and supporting us in doing better next time.  Fixing is forcing us to do it their way when our way doesn't work.  Supporting is sharing with us their needs and trusting we will take them into account.    Fixing is nagging.  Supporting is nurturing.  Fixing is anger when things get rough.  Supporting is knowing things will get better.  Supporting is seeing us exactly as we are.  Fixing is seeing in them what we refuse to see in ourselves.

  --  Iyanla Vanzant